THE DIVORCE LETTER

Dear Wife:I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever.I’ve been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show forit. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me thatyou quit your job today and that was the last straw.Last week, you came home and didn’t even notice that I had a new haircut,had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all ofyour soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife.Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone. Your EX-HusbandP.S. Don’t try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to WestVirginia together! Have a great life!Dear Ex-Husband:

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cryfrom what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out yourconstant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week,but the first thing that cameto mind was “You look just like a girl!” Since my mother raised me not tosay anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 pricetag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sisterhad just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning.After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought usTwo tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.Everything happens for a reason, I guess.I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said thatthe letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.Signed,Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was bornCarl. I hope that’s not a problem.

These guys are huge!

Nothing more frustrating to see young men who are not going to out live their parents because they are Morbidly Obese.

The Lies police tell when they kill

The simplicity of this story is that another black man was murdered and the Courts justified it. A pattern of abuse of police power in the black community continues to happen one way or the other. Either through grossly disproporationate sentences or absolutely nothing at all! So who cares if 50 shots were fired, or that the officers had to reload and keep shooting into a car with unharmed men! The barrage of bullets probably resembled that of a firing squad. Was this a conspiracy to murder Shawn Bell? Over and over I keep asking myself who was he. What prompted the undercover officers who were at a strip club, to actually be listening to Bell and his friends, to hear that he said “get my gun”. Then follow Bell out to his car and yell police freeze with no apparent motive.
New York continues to have a pattern with black men and police and all murders are justified when it involves the police. When is enough, enough? Sure we can rally and protest too, but until the search comes from within the system, no man or woman is safe. I can remember when they beat Rodney King over and over, then kicked and hit him. Rodney had acquired a charge of assault on a police officer and resisting arrest. The charges would have stuck too except one person had a video camera and had filmed it. Now what was resisting arrest turn out to be officers being fired and sued for their assault on Rodney. Unfortunately no video was captured and now it falls on their words against the police, the police won!
So don’t take my word for it the next time you hear about a police shooting of a black man and he dies, look at the excuses and see if they resemble these.

The Top Lies police give when they Kill a Black Man

1. Feared for my life.

2. Thought he had a gun.

3. He ran

4. He reached for something.

5. I saw something flash in the dark.

6. He looked like a gang member.

Sound Familiar?

The Lies police tell when they kill

The simplicity of this story is that another black man was murdered and the Courts justified it. A pattern of abuse of police power in the black community continues to happen one way or the other. Either through grossly disproporationate sentences or absolutely nothing at all! So who cares if 50 shots were fired, or that the officers had to reload and keep shooting into a car with unharmed men! The barrage of bullets probably resembled that of a firing squad. Was this a conspiracy to murder Shawn Bell? Over and over I keep asking myself who was he. What prompted the undercover officers who were at a strip club, to actually be listening to Bell and his friends, to hear that he said “get my gun”. Then follow Bell out to his car and yell police freeze with no apparent motive.
New York continues to have a pattern with black men and police and all murders are justified when it involves the police. When is enough, enough? Sure we can rally and protest too, but until the search comes from within the system, no man or woman is safe. I can remember when they beat Rodney King over and over, then kicked and hit him. Rodney had acquired a charge of assault on a police officer and resisting arrest. The charges would have stuck too except one person had a video camera and had filmed it. Now what was resisting arrest turn out to be officers being fired and sued for their assault on Rodney. Unfortunately no video was captured and now it falls on their words against the police, the police won!
So don’t take my word for it the next time you hear about a police shooting of a black man and he dies, look at the excuses and see if they resemble these.

The Top Lies police give when they Kill a Black Man

1. Feared for my life.

2. Thought he had a gun.

3. He ran

4. He reached for something.

5. I saw something flash in the dark.

6. He looked like a gang member.

Sound Familiar?

The Lies police tell when they kill

The simplicity of this story is that another black man was murdered and the Courts justified it. A pattern of abuse of police power in the black community continues to happen one way or the other. Either through grossly disproporationate sentences or absolutely nothing at all! So who cares if 50 shots were fired, or that the officers had to reload and keep shooting into a car with unharmed men! The barrage of bullets probably resembled that of a firing squad. Was this a conspiracy to murder Shawn Bell? Over and over I keep asking myself who was he. What prompted the undercover officers who were at a strip club, to actually be listening to Bell and his friends, to hear that he said “get my gun”. Then follow Bell out to his car and yell police freeze with no apparent motive.
New York continues to have a pattern with black men and police and all murders are justified when it involves the police. When is enough, enough? Sure we can rally and protest too, but until the search comes from within the system, no man or woman is safe. I can remember when they beat Rodney King over and over, then kicked and hit him. Rodney had acquired a charge of assault on a police officer and resisting arrest. The charges would have stuck too except one person had a video camera and had filmed it. Now what was resisting arrest turn out to be officers being fired and sued for their assault on Rodney. Unfortunately no video was captured and now it falls on their words against the police, the police won!
So don’t take my word for it the next time you hear about a police shooting of a black man and he dies, look at the excuses and see if they resemble these.

The Top Lies police give when they Kill a Black Man

1. Feared for my life.

2. Thought he had a gun.

3. He ran

4. He reached for something.

5. I saw something flash in the dark.

6. He looked like a gang member.

Sound Familiar?

The Man Store

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.
You may visit the store, ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. … You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. . On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 – These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.
“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!”
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 – You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

The Man Store

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.
You may visit the store, ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. … You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. . On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 – These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.
“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!”
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 – You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

The Man Store

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.
You may visit the store, ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. … You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. . On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 – These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.
“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!”
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 – You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

Husband Store

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a
woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

You may visit the store, ONLY ONCE!
There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the
shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. … You may
choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a
floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a
woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. .
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 – These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-
dead good looking and help with the housework.

“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!”

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead
gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign
reads:

Floor 6 – You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on
this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are
impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you
exit the building, and have a nice day!

3×2

Brooklyn Tony ON MATHBrooklyn Tony returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.”Why?” asks the father.The teacher asked ‘How much is 2×3,’ I said ‘6,’” replies TONY.”But that’s right!” says his dad.”Yeah, but then she asked me ‘How much is 3×2?’”"What’s the fucking difference ?” asks the father.”That’s what I said!”